my blue heaven

a glimpse into the life and mind of Kazzart.

Friday, February 28, 2003


Feeling kinda depressed.. no idea why... *sigh*

Things feels so.. empty.. and blah....

Anyway... Jazz class last night was good. I'd forgotten how much fun it was to jam and play jazz and impro and stuff with a band. We did Mood Indigo (Duke Ellington) and Impressions (Coltrane) too... my teacher, Alan Webb, always seems to like doing Impressions! I love playing it, coz its a modal piece and there are only 2 chords in the entire song. Dmin7 and Ebmin7 - so its practically all white notes, then all black notes.. woohoo! :) The only problem I have with the song is its high F.B.C (fingernail breaking capability) - I came away with two broken/flaked/split fingernails. Ouchie.. :(

Current listening :: At The Montreux Jazz Festival - Bill Evans

Thursday, February 27, 2003

Sooo... tiiired...

Argh.. feeling so exhausted at the moment. Totally my own fault of course, since I slept late every night of this week coz I was either a) reading or b) on the net. Bad Kazzart. Anyway, for those who are itching to know about my gig on Sat, I'll post up the details soon.. I promise! Just got no time at the moment coz work's been so busy and I really have to run now coz I got my jazz impro class at the Con at 5pm and its 4:50pm already... I'm outta here!

Tuesday, February 25, 2003

Photo's galore!

I've just spent the last day and a half uploading, configuring, fixing, and fiddling with this program called Gallery - its a bunch of open source php files that you put on your webserver that creates online photo albums, all with automatic thumbnailing and a bunch of other cool features! Its soo cool!! :) Unix is sooo much more fun an OS to play in than Micro$oft!

So lookee here for the photos I took last week at our beach holiday.

Anyway, today I went with two friends who also work in the city to Balmain for lunch. One of them, John, can drive into work at the moment, so he drove us out to Balmain where we had some yummy Thai. Then we came back and checked out his office (the newish Citygroup building at Town Hall).. we went to the top floor, and man, that view is incredible!

Yikes, nearly 6pm already, I really need to haul my lazy butt off to the gym. I haven't been since... the week before last! Eeek!

Current listening :: Standing In The Shadows Of Motown OST

Saturday, February 22, 2003

"Back to life, back to reality" (and doesn't it just suck!)

The worst thing about going away on a holiday is the coming back. I had the most wonderful 4 days away at Copacabana beach, living in the most beautiful house I've ever stayed at, with the most beautiful sights and sounds of the sea to wake me up every morning. *sigh* It just kinda sucks to be back. Especially when you come back to a nagging mum, stressful situations and pissy people... not to mention lousy weather. And then there's the dreaded work on Monday morning...

Anyway, I had a great time down there, relaxing in the house, cooking and eating yummy gourmet meals, spending every day on the beach (getting dumped by the rather large waves, but that was kinda fun too.. in a suicidal sorta way.. :P). I took lots of photos with my digicam while we were there, so once I download them to my computer, I'll put them up here.

Tomorrow night is Deb's gig. I can't believe its here already! And I haven't had a chance to practice at all since our last rehearsal coz I've been away, so I really hope everything goes ok! We have a rehearsal tomorrow at 2pm, before the gig (which is at 7pm). I guess it'll be alright. As they say here in oz, "she'll be right!"

Sunday, February 16, 2003

We're all going on a... summer holiday..

Arghhhhh!! I can't believe its tomorrow!! Finally our summer holiday is here. I'm going to be spending the next 4 wonderful days lazing about a beautiful, luxurious house right on Copacabana beach. Either that or I'll be lazing ON Copacabana beach, or body boarding in the surf. *sigh* So, expect to see me all tanned and dark when I get back. Ooh and I'm bringing my digicam, so expect some photos too. :)

Anyway I'd best start packing my stuff! See ya's when I get back!

Friday, February 14, 2003

Happy Valentines Day!

For those of you with "other halves" (or "hunnys", "dearests", "managers", "bosses".. etc etc) - I hope you have a lovely day today, doing something romantic for your loved one. As for me, I have the Forbidden Broadway performance tonight. But Andrew will definitely be there to watch me prance on stage. And he's meeting me for lunch soon too. Hope he likes the pressies I got him! I got him something of a practical nature (but definitely useful) and something lovey dovey. :)

Current listening :: "We could be in love" - Lea Salonga

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

Workout + Sauna + Shower = Energised Kazzart!

Ahhh... I feel gooood. Just got back from a great workout at the gym. Did a whole 32 mins straight on the X-trainer, burning 425 cals (according to the counter anyway). Yay!

Anyways, I gotta dash.. final rehearsal for Forbidden Broadway tonight, with the performance this Friday night. Only two more days to go.. eek!

Tuesday, February 11, 2003


Feeling very tired today. And I haven't been to the gym at all this week so far. Am feeling very lazy and unmotivated at the moment. I hate it when I get like this. *sigh* And my shoulders are still killing me. It hurts everytime my elbows lift to near shoulder level, or rather, anytime that muscle is used in any way. *whinge grumble sulk*

Anyway I'm off to see Star Trek : Nemesis tonight with Andrew. Should be good.. I'm looking forward to see this! Something interesting to brighten my otherwise boring day.

Current listening :: All Things Are Possible - Hillsong

Monday, February 10, 2003

Wedding #1

I just realised that I've only posted twice in the last week - my appologies for the lack of updates! The past week has just been so unbelievably hectic. I attended two weddings on Saturday, which were both very nice.

The first one was that of two close friends from uni - Jo and Pete (omg I can't believe their married now!!!). The ceremony was absolutely beautiful, and had a really personal touch to it - from the vows that they wrote themselves, to the recessional music (the theme from the smurfs!) Before the ceremony started, they had a slideshow presentation on the screen showing photos of Jo and Pete at various stages of their life,
from baby to current, with different friends and family (including a few rather embarrassing photos of our uni group, the "Crew"!) Then lastly, a short video clip was shown of the actual proposal that Pete (dressed and painted as a blue smurf!) had made to Jo. Soooo sweeet! *sniff*

I must admit, I felt fairly teary as Jo walked down the aisle. There was just something so joyful and pure about it. I looked about at the faces of our friends as they gazed at her, and saw that quiet joy mirrored in their faces. It was a truly beautiful moment. The musical item sung whilst they signed the register was a really beautiful song called "I Will Be Here" - it was written by Steven Curtis Chapman to his wife when they got married. *sigh*

"Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I, I will be here
If in the dark you lose sight of love
Hold my hand and have no fear
'Cause I, I will be here

I will be here when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen, and I will be here
when the laughter turns to crying
Through the winning, losing and trying, we'll be together
'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the future is unclear
I, I will be here
As sure as the seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes were made for years
So I, I will be here

I will be here and you can cry on my shoulder
when the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you, and I will be here
to watch you grow in beauty
and tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
to you and to the One who gave you to me."

Wedding #2

The second wedding (of Andrew's sister) was nice too. The music went pretty well, and we received a number of compliments on our playing. We might even get a gig at some future event as a result (one of the groomsman was interested in contacting us if there was a need for a band at some future event.. yay!) Straight after the wedding, I rushed off to Wahroonga for the Forbidden Broadway dress rehearsal, then rushed back to Hunters Hill for the reception. (Unfortunately I couldn't make Jo and Pete's reception that night because of this one). The food at the Mandalay House was absolutely scrumptious, particularly the dessert trolley. YUMMM! I also met a number of Andrew's relatives for the first time, and we seemed to get along which was good. Anyway, here's a mugshot of me and Andrew at the reception.

"One, two, buckle my shoe"

We had our first rehearsal for Deb's album launch on Sunday, which was pretty exciting for me! I arrived a little late, but they were still sitting around waiting for the congregation to finish their service in the theatre. I admit I felt a little intimidated by all the talented and fully professional muso's all around me. Though it was nice talking to the likes of Pete Kohlhoff and Mark Peterson, they didn't seem to have much to say to me. I was glad when Vron arrived! Maybe its wierd for them to be playing with me coz they knew me when I was a bit younger, and was just an amateur musician (not that anything's changed now, I've only become a slightly more skilled amateur :P). Anyway, that doesn't really matter I guess. The rehearsal was still fun - and its really cool to be playing with such incredibly talented muso's. I just concentrate on doing my thing on the keyboard, and it all sounds good.

However, after this taste at being a keyboard player, I'm thinking perhaps I should leave it to the more muscular folk. Maybe take up vocals. Why? Because my keyboard and amp are sooo damn heavy!! I didn't even carry my keyboard (because I physically can't!) - I managed to enlist my fellow drummer and pianist to be my roadies for the afternoon. I only carried my amp, keyboard stand, and the cables, pedal etc. But this morning when I woke up, I could barely move my shoulders from the effort expended whilst carrying my stuff from the car to the theatre. Ouchie. :(

Current listening :: "Deep River" - Utada Hikaru

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

Busy busy busy

Gee I'm so busy at the moment. I'm playing piano for Andrew's sister's wedding this Saturday (with Andrew, Tim, Vron and the latest addition to our band, Sam). We're doing 3 songs during the service, and we've got a rehearsal tonight, then tomorrow night we have to go to the wedding rehearsal at the actual church.

Now saturday is going to be an absolute killer. I have two close uni friends getting married at 11am in the city, then I'm off to Andrew's sister's wedding at 2pm in Hunters Hill, then a mad rush to Wahroonga for the Forbidden Broadway dress rehearsal at 4pm, then a mad rush back to Hunters Hill for the wedding reception at 6pm. ... *stops to get some air* .... And then on Sunday, there's a SaltLight production meeting at 11am, Deb Fung's album launch rehearsal 12:30 - 3:30pm, then church at 4ish coz I'm playing piano for the 5pm evening service.

I'll be happy if I don't come out of the weekend sick.

Last night I had my audition at the Conservatorium. I got into the Jazz Performance Groups (elementary level.. coz I'm so rusty :( ). But still I'm happy with that, it'll be good to get grounded in the basic major II V I chord progressions again, esp now that I'm better with my LH voicings, I can go back and redo that stuff. Should be fun! :) My audition kinda sucked, of course. The jazz standard ("Softly as in a morning sunrise") went fairly well, considering I'd only practiced that afternoon - then again, I do play that piece all the time. But, I couldn't play the blues piece at all. I'd neglected to practice improvising over those particular chords, and I couldn't work out the necessary modes/scales to play on the spot - my sight-reading skills are non-existent enough without the added factor of nervousness. Besides, I don't really know how to play blues stuff. I never did. *sigh* I suck.

Anyway, I managed to have a good solid practice for Deb's gig last night (resulting in me sleeping at 1am :\ ). I got through all the songs - playing along with the cd. Damn its hard to change sounds on my keyboard mid-song! There's just not enough time, and I inevitably come in a few chords too late. I wonder how people do this..

Current listening :: "Outtathaway" - The Vines

Monday, February 03, 2003


Over the weekend I went to my church's leaders retreat. It was a good time for the leaders of WS to get away together and be replenished for the upcoming year. We listened to some very challenging talks by Allan Web about what being a leader really means. There was also much planning to be done for Glue (the youth group on Fri nights at my church), with many meetings (esp for poor Andrew, who was closeted away at almost every spare moment in a meeting about various aspects of Glue).

I found the talks given by Allan very challenging and thought-provoking. It made me reflect on myself, and whether I have the right heart and attitude about leading. Here are some points that struck me personally:

  • The things God looks for in a leader are purity of heart and humility in spirit, as well as a sense of one's own inadequacy whilst being sure of God's sufficiency. Am I pure in heart and humble? These are difficult things to examine in oneself.

  • A leader is a way-treader, not just a way-pointer - we should lead by example, by first doing it rather than just pointing the way to people. I think all too often I am just a way-pointer.

  • Servanthood is the hallmark of leadership - Jesus spoke more on servanthood than he ever did on leadership. And even more, we are bondservants of Jesus, which is to be shown through serving one another. The idea of a bondservant - one with no rights or freedom - is quite a radical idea compared to today's belief in fighting for your rights, living to please yourself etc.

  • Leaders are to serve in the right spirit (of humility), with the right motive (not for glory or reward), in the right manner (as examples, not dictators)

  • Effective godly leadership must always begin with effective faithful followership - we must first learn to be a faithful followers of Jesus. God searches for leaders who have the heart to follow Him.

  • Qualities of a leader sought by God: wholeheartedness, singlemindedness, visionary in faith.

  • A challenge to end well. It is easier to start well than end well. Leaders who end well have: learning posture (continuous learning), personal perspective (looking overall and longterm), personal renewal (repeated renewal in their spiritual life), mentoring, personal philosophy of ministry.
Here's an appropriately relevant excerpt from an old song by Nathan Tasker called "Image Of A Servant" (one of the first songs I'd ever heard by him, performed at Kyckstart many, many years ago):

"In the Image of a servant not the image of a king
Jesus showed to me that’s how my new life must begin
To follow in the footsteps of a God who could
Live and die for just two reasons, humility and servanthood

Now the gospel of the one who died and rose again for me
Means more to me than anything this world could ever be
So now I want to serve a God who's with me for all time
So when he looks inside my heart a servant's what he finds

Now I know I can’t stay the same
But God is helping me to change
To know the truth is not enough
For he’s asking me to live out his love
In the image of a servant"

Current listening : Come Follow Him - Nathan Tasker