my blue heaven

a glimpse into the life and mind of Kazzart.

Friday, November 29, 2002

The Vines

I just bought myself and some friends 8 tix to see The Vines on Wed 29th Jan 03 (Magic Dirt and City Lights supporting). Yay! Though I've heard from Andrew that they're not *that* great live, it still should be some good moshing fun, esp in Enmore's rather bouncy mosh pit. :)

Ooh, and last night I watched my new Beauty and the Beast dvd with Andrew. T'was good, I haven't seen it in ages! :)

Also I've decided about the whole "Bridget Jones Diary" dvd thing - I'm just gonna keep the one I got from Leading Edge. Its only $8 difference. I think next time I'll go to HMV to buy my dvds - 2 for $50! And they have such a large range of good dvds at that price! (Eeek.. I think I've caught the "obsessive dvd buying" bug!)

Current listening :: "Loving You" - Jennifer Lopez

Thursday, November 28, 2002

Weekly dance class report

Yep, its become a bit of a weekly thing. Dance class last night was great! The lyrical was similar to last week, extended with some floor work (yay I love floor work!) The 2nd routine, however, was the raunchiest I've ever done. It was partner work, to the song "Put The Needle On It" by Dannii Minogue. I was paired up with one of the rare guys in the class, and though I usually prefer to be paired with a guy (coz when I'm paired with a girl, I usually end up taking the guys part, being taller), this time I wish I was with a girl. Somehow, dancing raunchy with a girl doesn't seem as bad. But anyway, it was still a good routine and was fun.. it just made me feel a bit dirty..

Oh and another bad thing about dancing with a guy - the sweat. Oh my gosh its gross. Girls don't sweat as much. This particular guy sweated more than most, and it kinda smelt bad too. :( But at least he's not as bad as this other guy who used to come. He sweated so much that whenever he turned too quickly, sweat would come flying off, splattering the unfortunates nearby. Ewwwww.....

Current listening :: "X" - Xzibit

Wednesday, November 27, 2002


Can work get any more boring than this??! Arghhhhh....

And I'm so tired.. been dozing on and off at my desk the whole afternoon. I guess when the folks are away, Kazzart gets less sleep. Not feeling that great, so tired that I'm starting to feel a bit nauseous. Not good coz I have dance class tonight and I do NOT wanna miss it!

Anyway, I suppose I should go get ready for dance class.....

Last night I went to my first Salsa class ever at Club Salsa in Pyrmont. It was fun! I quite enjoyed it, though I found the beginner class a bit slow. I guess compared with the complicated routines I learn at the SDC, this was very basic stuff, bordering on boring. But the fun was in dancing with a partner (unless the partner sucked :P). Its a different sort of dancing, more to do with the feel and the partner (leading & following) rather than the steps.

The class was really packed - so no individual attention really. Suprisingly, there were actually more guys than girls! I was amazed, being used to my jazz class which features only a hand-full of guys at best. We rotated partners throughout the lesson, so we weren't stuck with the same person. Some of the guys I danced with were pretty shocking, couldn't even get the basic "1 2 3 (hold) 5 6 7(hold)" step, but a few were not bad, one was quite experienced (he'd been coming for ages) so that was good coz he taught me stuff.

The open dancing afterwards was heaps fun! I really wanted to practice what I learnt. I danced with 2 people. The first guy was ok-ish as a dancer, but one thing really put me off the dancing - he had man boobs. Seriously, this guy REALLY reminded me of Robert Polson (from Fight Club). *shudder* The 2nd guy was one of the advanced students I think, coz he was really good. He lead me in so many complicated twists and turns and arm movements, I was getting lost! I'd never done all that stuff before, crossing arms this way and that whilst turning this way and that and spinning... I tried my best to follow his lead, but sometimes I got lost and balked. Heheh. But it was fun.

Also, last night they had the try-outs for the intermediate class. They have this at the end of each month - the people who want to try out go upstairs after class during the open dancing time and dance to a more intermediate level of music while some instructors watch. My friend, Alicia, who brought me along was trying out this night (I was there for moral support) and made it in. Then after the try out, one of the guys I danced with asked why I didn't try out (he seemed to think me capable of it). He told the instructor that I missed the tryout and so they put music on again and watched us dance. But I didn't make it (hey it was my first time!) - the guy said I'm almost there, he says I've "got it" but just need to solidify the steps a bit. No complaints here, I'm just happy I was even considered for intermediate on my first go at Salsa! :)

Current listening :: Roast Modernism - Andy Clockwise

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

It just had to happen..

After many months of deliberating, trying to find Bridget Jones Diary dvd on sale, the day I finally cave in and buy it for $33, my bro that night does some online shopping at ChaosMusic and Lo and Behold, the first thing on the featured sale list is Bridget Jones Diary.. for $25. Arghh. Still.. the place I bought it from allows for exchange (but no refund). So maybe I'll just exchange it for something else, if there is something else there that I want. Gee how asian is that, I'd pay more money just to get something at a bargain.. hrmm..

In other news, I'm going to Club Salsa tonight! Yay! My friend goes regularly to the beginners classes they hold there on weeknights. They have an hour and half lesson from 7:30 - 9pm, then from 9 - 10pm is time for open dancing and practice. Should be fun. :)

Oh, and my parents left this morning for a holiday in Tasmania. They'll be gone for just under 2 weeks, leaving me and my bro to fend for ourselves. Hmm... party at Kazzarts? :)

Current listening :: "Jenny from the block" - Jennifer Lopez

Monday, November 25, 2002

Retail Therapy

Well not really, but I went out to see if the new Jennifer Lopez (she seems to have ditched "J.Lo") album, "This is me.. then", was out yet. Happily, it was, and even happier, I found it at Leading Edge Music for $24.95.. yay! I quite like this album, its different from "J Lo" - it has a different groove and feel - kinda old-school-ish, with more soul, and a bit of slow jam in there somewhere. I like! :)

I also bought two dvd's - "Bridget Jones Diary" (finally!), this is probably my favourite girly movie - I'd been planning to get it for a while. And "Beauty and the Beast" (Special Limited Edition, 2 discs).

Btw, can anyone confirm.. did it actually reach 39 C in the city today as the SMH website claimed??

Current listening :: "Still" - Jennifer Lopez

Sunday, November 24, 2002

Feelin Hot Hot Hot!

My gosh today was rather hot - I think it reached 30 degrees. Its still a balmy 25 degrees now at 11pm. Ahh... how I love summer! Tomorrow is gonna be a scorcher... 36 degrees C, with very high to extreme fire danger and a total fire ban! (Up to 40 deg further west!) This is sooo beach weather... but alas tomorrow is a Monday. :( Then again, air conditioned comfort at work ain't so bad. Its just the whole "work" thing.... :P

Thursday, November 21, 2002


Ow. I'm sore. Not the usual muscles though.. this time my lower back hurts a little, my neck feels kinda stiff and sore and my shoulders too. Ugh. Its probably due to dance class and sleeping badly. :( I probably flung myself into the routines a little too roughly last night. Ah well, dance class was still awesome! :) The lyrical was great! Similar to last week, but with enough difference to keep things interesting. I was kinda disappointed with the 2nd dance though - it was exactly the same as the previous 2 weeks - the one to "Die Another Day" by Madonna. But I still like it, and he extended it again, teaching us another set of 8 counts (I think it was this last 8 that hurt my back a bit).

Possible exciting news for me... at the end of class Ramon reminded us about the end of year SDC christmas party on Dec 13, which will feature a few performances by teachers and students (I know Sue Ellen's class is performing). He hinted that our class might also be performing, and to practice the Madonna routine coz he might use it. Yay! Then again, I dunno if I would be in the performance. He might just use the usual students of the class that he's performed with before. *sigh*

Anyway, still no work at work. Check out the cam pic. I played around with it in Paintshop Pro.. hehe.. you can tell how bored I am at the moment. (See if you can guess which song I quote from!)

Hm. Think I might go to the gym now..

Current listening :: First Love - Utada Hikaru

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

I have succumbed.. the calls of gelato, gently beckoning me from its icy home in Gelatissimo. And I was there only yesterday too. *hangs head in shame* Ah well... its a warm day, and work is really boring at the moment. Again, I have nothing to do. I just wanna get out, and party.. go clubbing.. whatever.. just do something interesting! *sigh* Well, at least I have dance class tonight. Yay! :)

Oh, check out this rather amusing SMH article about mannequins. Mind, its a bit M or MA in content. :P

Update: 5:30pm
Darn it... I just realised I forgot my contacts... again! I hate dancing in my glasses... *sigh*

Current listening :: "Come On Get Up" - Janet Jackson

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

Webcam != Fun

*Warning: post may contain strong geek language and techy words* ;)

I've been having soooo much trouble with this webcam since I started using it. :( I'll try not to go into *too* much techy talk, but apparently, having a VIA Chipset causes many of my problems, as it's USB Host Controller does not work very well with devices using the USB port (like my webcam). Damn Logitech for not programming their drivers to work with *all* chipsets! :( Also they say USB does not like sharing its IRQ with other devices (like gfx card, sound card) - this seems to be the main cause of my problems (ie. the reason my computer crashes everytime I use my webcam).

I have found helpful advice on the net (the best being USB Man - they have almost everything I could ever need to know about USB and fixing USB problems!) I haven't tried implementing the more radical ones yet (like changing from ACPI to Standard PC HAL so that I can manually assign an IRQ to the Host Controller) as this is likely to cause problems in other areas/will need a reinstall of win2000, or so my friend has told me. *sigh* Its been a VERY frustrating few weeks. But at least I know whats wrong now.

Anyway, despite it crashing my computer, I still can't resist using the webcam. I merely use it for the 10 - 20 mins grace period before my computer reboots itself. Though today it lasted for a whole half hour before crashing! *gasp* To celebrate this momenteous occasion, I created a new webcam archives page for some cam grabs I did tonight. :D

Current listening :: "Who's That Girl" - Eve
Better (but bored)

I'm feeling much better today. I still should have slept a *little* earlier last night, but I'll do that tonight! Work is so boring at the moment. I don't feel like doing anything. Not that I've really got any work to do at the moment. :)

Last night I had my 3rd last jazz piano class at the Con for the term. Gee.. can't believe its almost over again. Class wasn't as good as previous weeks, but then I didn't do any practice this week either. That'll teach me. Anyway, I'm gonna be performing in the end of term (& end of year) concert at the Con again. Yay! But this time its not really a proper performance - my jazz teacher is performing an item, and in his piece he needs a small choral group to sing a few notes. Sounds interesting. So most of my class will be participating in this.

Speaking of singing, I had a great time on Saturday afternoon/evening playing piano and singing for 4 - 5 hours! My voice was quite warm coz of singing lesson earlier, so I decided to take the opportunity to sing and learn the new song Vron gave me (called "I'll Forget You" from the musical "The Scarlet Pimpernel"). Its SUCH a beautiful song. I really like it, and found it good to sing and quite suitable for my voice. I even recorded myself playing and singing it (and some other songs). Heheh.. that was interesting. I wanted to hear what my voice sounded like from outside of myself. Your voice always sounds different to your own ear, so Vron always told me.

Anyway, I'll post the lyrics to "I'll forget you" (by Frank Wildhorn & Nan Knighton) coz they're just so sad and heart-wrenching! I even felt a bit teary the first time I heard it!

I'll forget you
The more you stay inside of me, the weaker I grow
I'll forget you
Tomorrow I will turn and let you go
I'll grow colder
I'll lose myself in anything but you now
For there is nothing I can do now
But forget

I'll forget you
I won't remember arms that pulled me in soft and slow
I'll forget you
There has to be a way to let you go
No more shadows
No dreams of leaning in the dark above you
I will forget how much I love you
Any day

But every evening shivers
With the chance that you are near
And every morning whispers, "He is here"
Each moment is a fight not to rush into your light
Not to move closer, but to make you disappear

I'll forget you
I've got to find the strength to pull away from your glow
I'll forget you
God help me see a way to let you go
I do not want you
And still you steal each breath I'm breathing from me
With just a touch you overcome me
And I let you
I will forget you
When I die
I will forget you
I will forget you


Current listening :: Dummy - Portishead

Monday, November 18, 2002

Feeling crappy

Ugh. I feel so yuck today. Don't feel much like posting. I'm really really tired. I think I'm getting sick too.. I can feel a sore throat coming on, as well as a dull headache beginning to form. I've been really thirsty all day as well. Ugh.... Need. To. Go. Home. And. Sleep. :(

Hmm.. I wonder if going to the gym is good for me at the moment. More to the point, I wonder if I can muster up enough energy to exercise. Maybe I'll just go sit in the sauna instead for a while. Mmm.

Friday, November 15, 2002


My physical fitness is on an all time high at the moment. I haven't been this fit since.. early/mid high school! Wow.

Ever since talking to a friend (who runs for a full hour on the treadmill about 3 or 4 times a week and raved to me about how much it energises her), I've decided I to try and push myself a little harder in terms of my cardiovascular exercises. So this week, I started off on Monday doing 2 sets of 13 mins on the X-trainer (with just a minute or so in between to rest). Then on Tuesday I did 27 mins, no rest. Finally today, I pushed myself and did a full half hour. The amazing thing was, I didn't feel puffed at all the whole time! I mean, I perspired and got my heart rate up - but was not at all exhausted/short of breath/unable to hold a conversation. I felt so energised afterwards too.. just like my friend described! Its a great feeling! :)

Current listening :: "Soul Food" Soundtrack

Thursday, November 14, 2002


Is everything down at the moment?! I can't log in to my internet banking, I can't log in to my vodafone billing, and the blogger template servers are down!! :(

Stupid blogger servers. I was doing a minor upgrade to my design and had just changed the template when, upon noticing an error in my template, I tried to fix it, and discovered the blogger template servers are down. So now I can't make any changes to my template.. and I'm stuck with this ugly mistake until blogger decides to fix itself up again. :( *sigh*

Anyway, everything except this page looks ok. Go view the about page to see what this is supposed to look like. Go on.. please.. I'm embarrassed with the way this page looks at the moment!

Update: 10:00pm
Ok, its working finally! Yay! Now my updated layout can be seen! Note the new scrollable boxes, if you find them annoying, you can change it under "Layout Options" in the nav bar on the left. Also I've updated my "live cam" page - it now reloads the picture without reloading the whole page & has a counter that tells you how long before it reloads - all thanks to some funky javascript. Go check it out!
Love #4 (tied) - Dance

Dance class last night was AWESOME! (Sound familiar?) The week before was pretty bad, having not danced for a month - plus I was tired and hadn't eaten enough that day. But last night, I was back into it... it all came back, and its a great feeling! :) The lyrical was a bit similar, but quite different in parts - I liked it very much! The music we did it to was much slower than last week, thankfully! The second routine we did was the same, but extended. Again it was to Madonna's "Die Another Day" song - and again we had that tap bit at the beginning. I liked it though - it was a very energetic dance. We had this complicated fast arm movement at the end which nobody seemed to get, even the pro's! Also I really nailed the 'across the floor' routine this week - it was great! I even did the double pencil turn almost perfectly! Yay! :)

Anyway, while we're on a nostalgic vein, let me go back to where it all started. I never had much experience with dance. I had one year of ballet (and a few months of tap) in year 6 (which I found quite boring - though I was very interested in the jazz ballet class upstairs - but my parents didn't think it a "proper" form of dance to be learning). I remember longing and wishing I could do that jazz ballet class instead of ballet, and even trying to learn the dance they did in the end of year concert that I was in (my dad had taped it.. hm perhaps I shouldn't have revealed that, ah well my 21st is past). I also did a few years of gymnastics at the Homebush States Sports centre during primary school, and a fair few years of figure skating in primary/junior high. But at year 9, my parents deemed that I didn't have enough time to continue with all my extra-curricular activities because I needed to concentrate on study (don't you just love asian parents?) So from there on my physical ability/fitness started a downhill slide, which abruptly hit rock bottom in uni (what is it about uni that makes lazy slobs.. or maybe that was just me! :P)

So it wasn't until I started work, at 21 years of age, that I started really getting into dance class (at the Sydney Dance Company). My first ever adult class was during the last week of SDC classes in Dec 1999. I went (by myself) to a Latin class and a Funk class . Needless to say, I was reeaally uncoordinated. But I absolutely loved it! And went back when it started up again in January. I did the open funk classes every week on Fri night, until youth group started and I couldn't make it anymore, then (at Vron's suggestion) decided to try Ramon's jazz beginners. I didn't really like it that much at first.. I mean why on earth did we do that weird across the floor walking thing?! And the routine was so short! But I kept going anyway, and after 2 or 3 classes (again upon Vron's advice), I decided to try Ramon's intermediate/advanced jazz class. Man was that a shock to the system! It was REALLY hard.. I had no idea what I was doing, no idea what a "sashay" was, how to turn properly, and what on earth all those terms meant! But still, despite it killing my body, I was hooked.. I really loved it! I must have looked totally uncoordinated and stupid to the others in the class, but hey, I kept going.

After a few months, I (tentatively) decided to try Sue Ellen's advanced jazz class. That was another shock to the system... but it was where I learnt a wealth of technical knowledge. She is a great and really sweet teacher, though her warm up routine absolutely kills my body - I never usually sweat much in exercise, but one time it was hot and at the end of the warm up, we bent over to stretch our legs and sweat just trickled down onto my face.. ugh. So I kept going to both Ramon's and Sue Ellen's on wed and thurs nights, sometimes even doing 3 nights a week (Tues, Wed, Thurs.. that really killed me though). At Sue Ellen's I learnt how to do barrel jumps, attitude jumps, axles, turns and really really increased my flexibility. (Pushing your body to the limit every week does wonders for your physical fitness and body tone!) I still went to Ramon's (sometimes twice a week!) coz I really enjoyed his routines and style.

But then I got busy with other things, music classes at the Con being one of them. I didn't have enough energy and time to commit to both dance and music. It was always a choice. *sigh* So now, after almost 3 years of dance classes, I've gone back to once a week, Ramon's on wed night. Though I still would like to visit Sue Ellen's class every now and then.. haven't been for so long. But with gym and everything else, its hard to find the energy to go more than once a week. I only wish I had the opportunity to perform. All these classes and I never once performed. *sigh*

Anyway, I hope I haven't put anyone to sleep with my dance autobiography! :P Gee it was long-winded..

Current listening :: All For You - Janet Jackson

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Love #4 - Music

I think over the past month or so, my love for music has been rekindled (*cringe* ..I really wanted to use a less cliched word - really I did - I just couldn't think of one!) I have been in a bit of a lazy, unmotivated phase when it came to playing the piano, but lately I've found myself wanting more and more to just sit down at the piano and play, experiment, or perhaps even create.

The fact that my classes get more and more interesting with each week helps - we've been learning stuff thats actually applicable to playing, rather than just technical exercises to learn jazz chords. Last night we learnt how to do a walking bass line - how cool is that!! I'd been wanting to know how to do this properly for a while (I've just fudged it so far and it never sounded quite right) and eagerly lapped up the information he gave us. I really wanna go home and experiment with it now!

Another motivating factor has been listening to/watching Ben Folds play. He really is an awesome pianist and musician. *sigh* Also more recently, listening to the "You Alone" cd has made me feel more... passionate.. about music. I've always liked "worship" music, hailing back to the days when I listened to Hillsong or Ron Kenoly constantly. *slightly embarrassed look* Those worship CD's (and the band at KyckStart - which incidentally are the same guys who play on "You Alone") are what hooked me into wanting to play jazz/contemporary style music, and get away from the classical thing. I *love* listening to really good musicians play as a band - how tight they sound together, the creative way they play with rhythm, improvise with melody and yet still leave space for each other. I used to put the CDs on in my lounge room where we have 4 speakers, and then put my ear to one of the rear speakers so I could hear the pianist more clearly to try and discern what he/she was doing that sounded so good! (This was before I had any sort of jazz knowledge - and barely any chordal knowledge).

I guess I feel now more than ever that playing the piano is mine.. something I have ownership over... rather than something my parents are forcing me to do, like they did when I played classical piano. I used to HATE playing the piano. I hated lessons, hated practicing and everything.. though my grade 7 and 8 teacher seemed to think I had potential. I think he wanted me to enter estedfords and stuff. As for me, I couldn't even be bothered practicing. When I finished 8th grade in year 10, I resolved to never touch the piano again! That lasted 2 years and then in uni I discovered a different form of piano playing.. jazz.

Ahh the nostalgia.

Gee... I didn't mean this to turn into an autobiography about my piano playing history! And I haven't even touched on the singing side of things yet.

Current listening :: You Alone - Emu Live
My bad!

I'm so tired today.. again. I should've gotten an early night last night (coz I slept at 2:30 the night before), but I didn't. :( I guess next time it would be helpful to not get home at midnight, and then I should also resist the temptation to read "just a little bit more" of my book (which usually turns into an hour or more of reading). I was so zonked on the train this morning - I fully slept the whole half hour ride to the city. I was even dreaming. Just hope I wasn't snoring. *embarrassed look*

Anyway, despite my ultra tiredness, I am resolved to go to the gym today. Yep. Most definitely need a workout. I only wish I didn't miss my pilates class.

Oh, check out the fade in/out mouse-over effect on my cam pic. Pretty groovy huh! But alas its not my code.. I got it from some website. :P

Current listening :: You Alone - Emu Live

Monday, November 11, 2002


I feel so gross at the moment. I just ate about 1/3 of a tub of Chocolate Feast icecream (granted it was a small tub of about 500mls, I think). Now I feel sick.. I am so not gonna touch any icecream for the next week.

And to make things worse, I didn't even go to the gym today. Kinda feeling a bit guilty about that. I suppose I had an excuse... I was too tired coz I slept at 2:30am last night. Bad Kazzart. Guess I'll just have to make up for this tomorrow with lots of exercise and healthier eating!
Beach baby!

I don't know about you, but I had a great weekend! Me and my friend decided to head further north to avoid the crowds at Manly, and ended up at Dee Why beach, which wasn't crowded at all (well at least away from the flags it wasn't).

It was absolute bliss - lying on the sand just relaxing and sun-baking to the sound of waves crashing on the shore.. going for a quick dip in the chilly yet refreshing water, then warming up again back on our towels on the sand, and finally the day was topped off with a relaxing snack at a nearby beach-side cafe. Ahhhh... I am SO going to do that more often - we both agreed to try and make this a regular-ish thing! And why not, I should make use of the beautiful outdoors here at Sydney, instead of spending my weekends cooped up at home in front of the computer. :P

Oh, and my bikini held up well (pun intended) to the test of water and waves. Very happy am I with it. :)

In other news, the latest EMU Music CD (called "You Alone") finally arrived last Friday! Yay! Its the live CD recording that I went to back in July this year. I've been anticipating its arrival for a while now, and I must say, its met my expectations and more. :)

Current listening :: You Along - Emu Live

Friday, November 08, 2002

Finally friday!

Yay its the weekend! The bottom half of my bikini finally came in today.. just in time coz I'm going to the beach tomorrow!! Woohoo!! :) I just really wanted to get out of the house and do something summery - with all this hot weather we've been having. My friend and I will most likely go to Manly beach.

I also bought myself a white sarong to match my new swimsuit (which is red and white). Yay! I'm all set for summer! :)

Anyway, I'm outta here!

Thursday, November 07, 2002

Dance class

Ah, the gym was good. Was feeling a bit lack-luster again, but thats probably coz I had dance class last night. I always seem to feel a bit tired the day after. Anyway, as I said earlier, dance class was good. The lyrical jazz routine was quite hard, mainly because it was really fast and I couldn't keep up (read: didn't have enough energy to keep up). I think I almost tripped over my own feet trying to do a turn, step, attitude turn in the other direction on the other foot all within 4 beats. Eeesh.. only 4 weeks without class and I'm already losing it.

The second routine was to Madonna's latest song "Die another day". It was interesting.. he incorporated a bit of tap at the beginning of the song, which was different! Other than that, it was a pretty standard "Ramon" style routine. I just wish I had more energy. I dunno why I've been so tired lately. Maybe I haven't been eating enough.. been eating less than normal lately.. dunno why.

I managed to take some photos of and around the Sydney Dance Company. I always thought the area was quite beautiful, being situated on the old wharfs, in view of the harbour and all. Its a nice walk to the SDC.

This photo was taken in my class, before it started while people were just stretching and warming up.

The SDC from the outside just before you walk in the entrance

The view of the harbour bridge as you walk from the bus stop down to the SDC.

Here is a picture of the front entrance of SDC. And here is another harbour shot of nearby.

Dance class last night was good, though I was a bit tired and didn't have enough energy to fully throw myself into the dances. Will write more on it later, but now I have a gym appointment.

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

Wakey wakey

Feeling very sleepy at the moment. Can't think probably properly (eesh.. can't even get my words right) enough to write with sparkling wit (not that my posts were ever sparkling or witty). Ugh, can feel an afternoon nap at my desk (whilst I pretend to look awake and working) coming on.

Anyway, the cbs dinner last night was good. It was good to see some old faces again. Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to catch up with all of them - guess I'll just have to meet up with them individually sometime... right Terri? :) The band was pretty good, I particularly enjoyed the latter one. I love funk bands! They played some classics like "September" (Earth Wind and Fire), "Play That Funky Music" (Wild Cherry), "Mustang Sally" and a Jamiroquai song or two. Love those classics! There was a bit of dancing to be had as well.. though not many brave souls dared venture out on that dance floor. I managed to drag (actually he didn't need any dragging at all) Andrew out to dance for a bit. It was amusing to note that the dance floor consisted mostly of caucasians - and the majority of those, arts students. Gee, do asians *have* to be so stereotypically reserved?? :P

I can't believe I forgot to bring my digicam last night! Argh!! How dumb is that. Anyway, speaking of webcams, I've updated my webcam archive pages. I cleaned up the layout (so it matches this one) and created a new archive page for the latest cam pics taken with my new webcam.

By the way, I don't look like Michelle Branch at all do I? A friend of mine (Vic) last night kept commenting how I was "looking very Michelle Branch" these days. I so do not look like her.. do I?

Well, I hope I wake up soon, as there are only a few hours till dance class (yay can't wait - I haven't been in AGES! Like 4 weeks!) Maybe I'll slip in a bit of a power nap before then. Sooo sleeepy...

Current listening :: Internationalist - Powderfinger

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Yay! I have a new..

.. Swimsuit! (Well half a swimsuit. They only had the top in size 10 and have ordered the bottom in for me.) Now I have my first bikini! Yay! :) Its by Seafolly, from the new-ish Beach Culture store near work. I spent the past month or so looking there and at different shops for something suitable. It wasn't easy. It had to be a colour and pattern I liked, but also matched my skin tone. It had to flatter my figure, but couldn't be too flimsy (ie. wouldn't fall off/expose something at the smallest wave). I didn't particularly like the movable triangle string bikini types. I mean how do those things stay on?!? But I *was* considering a fixed triangle or 70's halter neck type.

But in the end common sense won over and I bought a ruby coloured (in the "South Pacific" collection) mini-tube top with a detachable strap around the neck. It was flattering and sturdy! I will be getting (when it arrives) a matching mini-hipster pant too. Yay! Happy am I! Now I have to go to the beach lots!

Well, I better finish up some work as I have to leave early today to go to the CBS annual dinner. Should be fun.. I get to see some old friends from uni whom I haven't seen in quite a while!
(Belated) Friday Five - Religion

1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith?

Yes, I was raised as an evangelical (or bible-believing) Christian. We used to go to a baptist church, and then moved to a non-denominational church, but regardless of denomination, they're both evangelical (or fundamentalist) in their theology & teaching (pretty much in line with what the Sydney Anglicans believe).

2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?

Yes I do. Because I cannot ignore reality - the fact that I deserve eternal punishment, but that God loved me so much He died for me, even though I had rejected him. So I live in gratitude, having hope and meaning, knowing that this world is not all there is to life.

3. What do you think happens after death?

I believe that eventually God will judge the living and the dead, according to what they have done, and they will be condemned to eternal punishment unless they placed their trust in Jesus' death. Not sure about the technicalities (ie. when it will happen etc) - I think that nothing happens straightaway when you die - you wait, until the final day of judgement when the all creation will be destroyed and a new heaven and earth created for those that believed. Go read Revelation. :)

4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)?

Hm. I don't really believe that "religious rituals" are a biblical idea, so therefore none. But if you put it as "what is your favourite church activity?" then it would probably be fellowship (chatting/hanging out with friends at church with the purpose of encouraging them in their christian life) and singing (otherwise known as "Worship In Song"). :D

5. Do you believe people are basically good?

No. I believe people are basically bad and self-serving, try as they might to be good, and that this is a result of people rejecting Gods rule and trying to be the ruler of their own lives. But this doesn't mean that people can't *do* good.

Current listening :: The Bends - Radiohead

Friday, November 01, 2002

Body image

You know what I can't stand? Its those asians with perfectly normal, healthy, even slim bodies proclaiming how fat they are! Argh! Geeez.. what a warped view those asians have of their bodies. Its a really sad thing. I hate it how asian girls aspire for that stick thin look.. it really is not attractive at all, as most males would probably agree. And I *really* can't stand how asian celebrities and people in asian magazines have their perfectly normal, healthy, attractive bodies as the "before" shot and then proudly show off their accomplishment at achieving their new stick thin, starved bodies.

Sorry, I'm just in a bit of a ranting mood at the moment. I've been reading this girls' blog for a while, and in her posts, she often worried (or obsessed) about her weight. The way she went on about it, I thought she may have been slightly overweight or something. Turns out, she's only 56kgs?!?! Like my gosh.. *I'm* heavier than her. And considering the warped view of bodies people over in that asian country seem to have, its no wonder she is like this.

Quoting from her:
"In response to the -thin is beautiful, normal weight is overweight thing-, it makes me (and other people as well, I'm sure) feel absolutely awful to open up the newspapers to see a picture of Vicky Zhou preening and proclaiming that she was at her heaviest at 56 kilos with accompanying pictures of her squeezing her quote flabby arms and bulging tummy unquote.

I'm 56 kilos.

Of course I feel awful."
I know things are bad in the western world, with magazines displaying models with perfect size 10 (and tall) bodies, and everyone trying to conform to that societal norm of a slim body. But compared to asian countries, this is nothing. What we consider normal and even slim, they consider overweight! It makes me so mad. Its a really sad thing, and I just wish I could shake some sense into those poor asian girls. Urgh.

But I understand too, I used to be quite body concious and obsessed about losing weight, tried dieting, felt guilty for eating "bad" things, even wanted to punish myself for giving in etc etc. (Though I never dieted to the extremes of starvation/anorexia/bullimia - I loved food way too much for that.) I've learned to be content with my body, and I've also learnt that if you want to achieve a good (read: healthy) body, then EXCERISE!! I think this was actually the turning point for me - its since I started exercising regularly that I've become more content with my body. It started with dance classes, and then went on to include the gym. I'm so much more confident about my body as a result!

Oh, and I say everyone should throw away those scales! They're such a poor indictation of body fat - as everyone should already know, muscle weighs more than fat but is more compact, so you get smaller, but don't really lose weight when you start exercising. So if people wanna lose body fat, they should go and exercise, not starve themselves.

I know I haven't mentioned a christian perspective on this... its all been from a more practical point of view so far. I guess as a christian, I can be content with having a normal healthy body, because I know that thin-ness is not what matters in life. I shouldn't find my self-worth in such things, not only because its a shallow, self-centered thing, but also because I know I have infinitely greater worth in Gods eyes, demonstrated by the fact that his son died for me, not thinner-me, but me. Of course this doesn't mean I shouldn't take care of my body by exercising and not letting it get overweight (or underweight). This is something I'd like to tell some of the (thin) young girls at church who seem to obsess about their weight.

Current listening :: Ben Folds Five - Ben Folds Five