my blue heaven

a glimpse into the life and mind of Kazzart.

Thursday, October 31, 2002


Introducing... design #3 - the "Totoro Summer" edition! I'd been wanting to use Totoro graphics in my layout for quite a while, but never got around to trying it. Also, I was listening to "Gracie" by Bic Runga alot during the designing and coding of this, so I think the page kinda reflects the feel of the song a little. I have to admit, some of my inspiration for this design came from Alex's page, which is just beautiful. Hope mine's not too similar! Anyway, what do you all think?? :)

There are a few other changes, aside from the obvious design change. The nav is back on the left side again. Also, I've taken the links off this main page, and put them in a separate "links" page. There were just too many of them and the nav was getting cluttered. Also, there are new layout options - you can choose a more compact layout, or the expanded layout.

I've added two new photos pages - taken from the WSCCC Evening Service picnic last Sunday. Clicky here to view them.. dog lovers especially. :)

Sham On!

For the past few days, I've been watching, listening to, and absorbing Ben Folds Five. I borrowed their DVD from a friend.. and man, they're awesome! I soooo wish I could have seen them live while they were together. *sigh* I went shopping yesterday and bought myself two cd's - Ben Folds Five (the self titled first album), and Ben Folds Live (the latest special edition CD, with an extra DVD!) Yay! I absolutely loooove "Philosophy" and "Underground"... I wish I could play like Ben Folds!! Its so inspiring to watch him play.

Current listening :: Ben Folds Five - Ben Folds Five

Tuesday, October 29, 2002


Kinda feeling down today. I think it has something to do with my dream last night (and perhaps something else). Its amazing how a dream can warp my perception of life, and affect my emotions so much. Like, if I am angry with someone in my dream, then I'll wake up all angry and irritated. My dream last night was kinda depressing - it was to do with church and people leaving... I woke up with this really intense feeling of sadness, loss and abandonment. *sigh*

I also made the mistake of listening to Radiohead on the train on the way to work... not a good idea to listen to depressing music while you're depressed. I almost felt like crying during "Fake Plastic Tree's".. ah well.

Blah... am feeling kinda bummed about church next year.

Current listening :: The Bends - Radiohead

Sunday, October 27, 2002

A week ago..

I went to Livid. And lookee here, I still have my wristband on.... :D

Current listening :: Odyssey Number 5 - Powderfinger

Saturday, October 26, 2002

Live webcam works.. yay!

Well, I finally got around to downloading this freeware program that captures an image with my webcam and uploads it to a webserver. Yay! Its called visonGS PE - its small, lightweight and free! The only annoying thing is that every few captures it places a "visionGS" text ad somewhere in the image. But still its better than the stupid Logitech software which doesn't give you ftp upload.

Anyway, back to doing my tax return.. yay..

Current listening :: "Quiet Day" - George

Thursday, October 24, 2002

Redesign itch

I've been feeling the itch to redesign this blog again. I'm kinda getting bored of the current one. Also, its getting close to summer, the days are getting warmer... and I feel the need to change my blog design along with my wardrobe. :D

Its not anything drastic.. because I quite like this white and blue thing. But it'll be something a bit prettier.. with a slightly different feel. I've been working on it, so expect some changes soon-ish.

Current listening :: "Gracie" - Bic Runga

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

So.. tired..

Still recovering from Livid on Sunday. Ugh. I just spent the last 20 minutes dozing at my desk. I probably would have dozed on until COB (close of business) had I not made the effort to get up and go get some desperately needed caffeine in the form of a cup of tea. My legs were a bit wobbly and I felt slightly dizzy as I was walking over to the kitchen area. So glad I have a free night at home tonight..

My lesson at the Con last night was alright, though I was kinda late. I'm getting better with the jazz voicings for "My Foolish Heart" (a jazz ballad standard we're working on). I really should practice more often. I'm lucky if I get in one practice a week, and I know our teacher expects about three a week. The last part of the lesson was kinda boring, with him going over extension chords (9ths, 11ths and 13ths) - stuff I already knew a while ago, and then re-learnt again in Keyboard 1 earlier this year.

<boring jazz theory rant>
Still, it was interesting to learn about how 4ths were always considered a void note (were avoided) in earlier classical forms of music, as it clashed with the 3rd note in a major scale, and then how #4ths were discovered coz they didn't clash in major 7ths, and how perfect 4ths are acceptable in minor 7ths. Hence, we have many (#11) and (-11) chords in jazz. Also we went over 13ths. Did you know, there is no such thing as a b6 (or b13) chord.. except for one case. A b6 in most cases is the same sound as a #5, which is such a powerful and distinct sound that a b6 will always be considered a #5.. so if you see music with b13 written, its a mistake! The only time we have b6 is in the -7(b5 b13) chord, which goes with a locrian mode.
</boring jazz theory rant>

Anyway, I'm sure you found all that information thrilling to read. I think tonight I will take advantage of the spare time, and practice piano. I think I will practice my singing too since my parents won't be around to disturb me.

Current listening :: Internationalist - Powderfinger

Monday, October 21, 2002

How true... *cough*

Read this SMH article on Livid. Rather true... my lungs are a testament to it today.

..was awesome!! It totally rawked! :)

I am so buggered today. My legs were killing me from standing up (with the occasional mosh) for about.. ooh.. 7 hours?! But it was all worth it. I managed to only catch 4 full gigs, and bits of about 6 other bands. The main ones I saw were (in order):

* Motor Ace - they played more old songs than new.. yay! It was fun! Me and Andrew managed to push our way forward to a decent spot and mosh a bit. The sound wasn't that great though, they really needed to turn up his mic.

* Mogwai- these guys were awesome! They were highly recommended by some of our friends, so I decided to pull myself away from Something For Kate and go see them with Andrew and Tim. It was a decision I did not regret.
They were instrumental and really intense.. the lead guitarist broke not one, not two, but three guitar strings by the end! And they were ear bleedingly loud. Man.. 4 guitars with metal zones can make a *very* loud sound! At the end they hung their guitars on and facing their amps so the sound could feed back while they walked off! My poor ears.

* George - the others went off to see Mercury Rev, but Andrew and I went to the Bigtop (what Andrew affectionately labelled the "armpit" of Livid.. because it was stinky, warm, sweaty and dirty!) The gig was alright... I guess I've seen enough of them to be quite familiar with their stuff. My gripe is that the sound guys did a bad job. Things were stuffing up, esp with the mics. I guess it must be pretty hard to set up a band in 15 mins. There were many females in the audience.. esp teenagers. I think I liked them better when they weren't quite so popular and well known. But maybe thats just my elitisism(?) talking...

* Powderfinger - this was the last band for the night. It totally rawked! We managed to get a really good spot up front because we arrived 1 hour early (while Oasis was still playing). Boy it was packed, soo many people, and too many teenage girls.. argh. Thats what I hate about all ages gigs. Still, we had fun, lots of moshing accomplished! :) There was this guy next to us that kept yelling "Bernard! Show us ya Fanning!". Heheh. (For those that don't get it, the lead singer's name is Bernard Fanning).

I caught snippets of some other bands too: Trail Of Dead (they kinda sucked - the drummer couldn't keep time), Dan Brodie & The Broken Arrows (rather amusingly country American - we almost started line dancing!), Something For Kate, Oasis (my gosh, Liam cannot sing to save his life, Noel's alright though.. "Don't look back in anger" was pretty good, with everyone singing along.. otherwise they were pretty ordinary - but their gig was PACKED with people - it was really quite amazing to see the bright lights from the stage flashing down over this huge sea of people. Awesome stuff.), John Butler Trio (they weren't really my style.. a bit too country blues) and Morrissey (at the very end). We wanted to see Grinspoon (they sounded fun!) but were too hungry and went off to get dinner at Fox studios while they were playing.

When we were coming back from dinner, we walked by this silver tarago pulling up at the back into the vip section. Sitting inside was none other than Oasis!!! My friend managed to take a photo. I guess thats the closest we'll ever get to them. We didn't wanna get too close though, just in case Liam decided to glass us or something... :P

Anyway, all in all, it was awesome! Great fun and very tiring.

Current listening :: Internationalist - Powderfinger

Thursday, October 17, 2002

Spirited Away

Last night I went to the Opening Night of Japanime, where they premiered Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away. It was an awesome anime - another brilliant work of Miyazaki. The story kinda reminded me of a more mature, weirder and darker version of Alice In Wonderland - but executed with more subtlety. The animation of course was breathtaking. It just keeps getting better. :) I quite liked the male character, Haku... there was something about him.. hehehe. :P

I don't know how Miyazaki comes up with this stuff... so creative. I must say though, the baby, and some of the other creatures kinda freak me out a little. A bit like the way those huge soft toys freaked me out in Akira.

Anyway, I have it on DVD as well.. I might go home and watch it again.. hmm...

No 1 Search

Well, my site has hit number 1. Yep. Google search: clubbing tops for larger people. My site is the first of 850. Mmm hmm.

Current listening :: "Unfoolish" - Ashanti

Wednesday, October 16, 2002


Woah. That was a rather upsetting experience. I was browsing through some swimsuits at Beach Culture when the shop owner came up to me and basically accused me of being a shoplifter and of having intentions to steal at his shop. He said that he and other stores in Metcentre had been warned about me (apparently they'd been given my description), and that security had caught me on camera stealing from some ladies clothing shop around the corner. He said I'd been in his store many times in the past few days, trying on stuff, and that if I wasn't planning on buying anything and was just gonna steal, then to "piss off" (direct quote).

Rather shocked, upset and close to tears, I defended myself saying that I hadn't ever stolen anything in any store in Metcentre, and that maybe they were mistaking me for someone else. I asked them where he had recieved this information, and he directed me to the security office of Metcentre. I went there and inquired about it. The security guy there said that it wasn't me, though I looked quite similar from behind, upon closer inspection (did they send some guy out to spy on me or something?!?), I was not the person they had seen on camera. Geez.. that was a relief. I went back and told the guy that it wasn't me, and he appologised. I think he was a bit embarrassed and peeved that they didn't inform him of this.

Monday, October 14, 2002

More webcam shenanigans

During my lunch break, I couldn't resist taking my new toy along for the walk. Here are the resulting photos.

The bottom end of Martin Place, Sydney

My all-time favourite foodcourt pasta place - at the MLC Centre Foodcourt. You gotta try the Chicken/mushroom/leek lasagna.. yummm...

The incredibly popular Gelatissimo. A new gelato store that opened a few weeks ago. Double yummm...!! :)
Photos are up!

Phew.. that took a while. I've uploaded the 20 something photos that I took yesterday with my new web/digital camera, and created a nice html page with thumbnails, javascript etc. Click here to view!

Hmm.. hungry now.. need lunch.

Current listening :: "Not The Same" - Ben Folds
New Web/Digital camera = Lots of fun!

I finally got around to setting up my new webcam/digital camera and tested out its capabilities both as a webcam and as a digital camera. So far, I am very impressed with its webcam capabilities. The pictures produced at 320x240 res are *very* clear (as you can see here).

As a digital camera, I wasn't really expecting particularly high quality pictures because.. well.. its not exactly a high-end digital camera. But its not bad, though I've only tried it at 640x480 res so far. I've already discovered that it produces better pictures in day time. In low light/night time, the auto-flash functionality works pretty well, but is a big no-no if you want close-up photos... as you can see here (and this was one of the better ones!)

Tomorrow, I'll post up a whole bunch of photos I took at church today. But now, I'm going to bed. I leave you with this... :)

Friday, October 11, 2002

Blah-ness + Beach Culture

I'm feeling rather tired and drained today. I've been walking around all morning like a zombie.. and slept on the train for the full half hour journey (I believe I was even dreaming). Bah. Shouldn't have come into work - should have stayed home and called in sick. I have no motivation to do any work today at all.. I just wanna go home and sleep. I can't even sleep in tomorrow coz of SCEA. *sigh*

In other more exciting news. MY WEBCAM HAS ARRIVED! Woohoo!! :) Now I gotta figure out how to use it. I wonder if I can bring it into work... hmmm...

Also, it looks like the new Beach Culture store has finally opened at Metcentre. Mmmm... lots of new swimwear...

1 hour later...

Just came back from trying out some swimwear, they're very nice! I like the 70's halter style for the tops and the mini hipster pant for the bottoms the best. I just gotta choose a colour/pattern I like! And find some boardies that match too. :) Now where did I put that catalogue...

Thursday, October 10, 2002

More search hits fun

Google search: grilled penis pics - yeeouch!

My site is number 4! Thats just.. scary.

Four things I'm looking forward to in October
  • My new logitech clicksmart 510 webcam/digital camera. Payment has been made, and its in the mail, on the way from the US! It should arrive within a week. Yay!

  • Livid 2002 - Sun 20 Oct, exactly 10 days to go!! Woohoo! The bands I'm hoping to see are: Superheist, Motor Ace, Something For Kate, Grinspoon, George, Powderfinger or Morrissey (coz they're playing at the same time), Oasis or John Butler Trio (coz they're on at the same time too).

  • Japanime 2002 - I'm seeing the Spirited Away premiere on opening night, and also Cowboy Bebop on the 18th.

  • Wearing my silver thongs, skirt and new singlet tops in the warmer, almost summery weather.. :)
Dance class last night was alright. I was feeling a bit tired though coz I'm a bit sick, so I didn't put in as much effort all the way through. Also, the lyrical was the same as the past 2 weeks (ya think he likes this routine?) and the other routine was almost the same as last week, and to the same song - "Down Boy" by Holly Valance. A very sexy routine yet again. We even had some of that pelvic thrust/swivel movement going. Mmm mmm. ;)

Current listening :: Oops I Did It Again - Britney Spears

Wednesday, October 09, 2002


Work boring. Chocolate gelato beckons. Must heed call....

[Updated: 6:20pm]
Mmm.. chocolate gelato was yum....

Well, gotta dash. Dance class now. Yay! :)

Tuesday, October 08, 2002


We move like cagey tigers
We couldn't get closer than this
The way we walk, the way we talk
The way we stalk, the way we kiss
We slip through the streets
While everyone sleeps
Getting bigger and sleeker and wider and brighter
We bite and scratch and scream all night

I was looking forward to having a fun filled long weekend of clubbing and many outdoorsy events (like the Latino salsa festival at Darling Harbour). Indeed. And none of it happened. Not happy. :(

Its not that I wasn't able to go... its that people were away, or they piked (though with good reasons) - and there was nobody left to go with. I didn't really fancy going clubbing on my own. *sigh* What a disappointment. At least on Saturday night there was ample warning - but I was all dressed and ready to go on Sunday night, when one by one, for one reason or another, the few that I was relying on, couldn't make it. Bah. I really wanted to party on this rare holiday that workers get only a few times a year. I guess most of the reason was because my usual clubbing friends went away to Port Stephens. Now that they're back, I think we can make up for it. :)

Anyway, the long weekend wasn't all that bad. I spent alot of time with Andrew, which was good. We had a reeeally nice picnic on Sunday at Tranquility Point, Mortlake. The sun sparkling off the water, sunshine, trees... Sydney is such a beautiful city. We also watched Garage Days on Saturday, and Austin Powers 3 yesterday. Both were pretty good. Austin Powers was a cack.. very funny, especially the statue fountain scene.. heehee.. it had me in stitches! Garage Days was great too - if only for the sentimental value it has to those who are into the local bands scene around Sydney or Melbourne.

Current listening :: "Lovecats" - The Cure

Friday, October 04, 2002

So weird to be back here..

The gig last night was great!! Very very cool. It was really modern jazz, perhaps somewhat similar to Coltrane, quite "out there" and intense - but a bit more laid back than Coltrane's stuff. All the pieces were original, about half of them written by Marki. I also managed to catch up with some people I haven't seen in quite a while. I had a brief chat with Phil Swan, which was nice (I was hoping he'd be there!), and also had caught up with Marki.

It was kind of weird to see Marki again - it was quite a nostalgic experience really. It reminded me... of the time I used to be close friends with him. He (and some others) had a large impact on me at a very crucial and emotional time of my life - that time from high school senior years to the beginning of university. It seems such a long time ago. Thinking back, I was so very young.. so innocent, insecure and impressionable. I must have made a fool of myself quite frequently. I remember, I practically worshipped certain muso's that I knew.. I was such a groupie. :P

But it was a time when my musical horizons expanded - when I first became interested in jazz, when I first discovered the joy of playing in a band, when I discovered music outside my collection of Mariah Carey and BoyzIIMen cd's.. when I first started growing up..

Everybody knows it sucks to grow up
and everybody does, so weird to be back here
let me tell you what, the years go on
and we're still fighting, and we're still fighting it

I remember talking on the phone for ages and hanging out with certain older male friends. I don't know how to describe it.. but it was such an important part of my life in the way its affected me. I held these people in such high esteem. I think I even had a big crush on some of them. Thinking about it now, it strikes me as somewhat similar to a certain girl I know. A young girl who's had a very close relationship with an older guy, talking on the phone all the time etc. Maybe we aren't so different afterall.

I feel so very much older now than what I was back then. Even though, well it was only 4/5 years ago, and I'm good friends with some people who are that age now. Maybe I was just a lot younger at that age than people nowadays. Which brings me to wonder.. is it just me, or are younger people these days alot older for their age than we used to be. Maybe its just that they have more stuff, experience more, are allowed more freedom. I don't know. Blah.. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Its hard to put into words what I'm feeling.

It was pain, sunny days and rain...

Anyway.. Marki was quite a big part of my life.. but I think that I was quite a small part of his life. I wonder what he thought of me back then. Was I an annoying and transparent young girl that wouldn't leave him alone, and constantly made an embarrassment of herself? I remember he wasn't very nice to me sometimes - but then, he didn't even have to talk to me at all. Hmm.. these thoughts are making me melancholy. *sigh*

Current listening :: "Still Fighting It" - Ben Folds

Thursday, October 03, 2002


I have no idea what that word means, but its the name of a gig I'm going to tonight. An old friend of mine has a jazz gig in Glebe.

The muso's playing are:
  • Mark Lau - bass
  • Spike Mason - saxophone
  • James Kennedy - trombone
  • Jeremey Sawkins - guitar
  • Laurence Pike - drums
Should be good!! I haven't been to a jazz gig in quite a while, and I'm looking forward to seeing how good Marki's gotten over his first few years of working as a professional jazz musician, since he graduated from the Con. And to think I used to play at church in the band with him.. it'd be nice if he was still at WS!! :P

We (me and Andrew) are also going to have dinner beforehand, at some cafe on Glebepoint Rd. Yay.. Its been a while since we've had dinner, just the two of us. :)

I'm not sore!! :)

Last night at dance class we did the same lyrical as the previous week.. the one from The Lion King auditions. Except we did the whole thing twice through. Oh my poor knees and left hip. My knees still haven't recovered from last weeks' bruising! The other routine was quite simple and short (coz we spent so long on the lyrical), to Holly Valance's new song, "Down Boy". As usual, it was quite a sexy routine, in line with the style of the song. :P

Anyway, the amazing thing I noticed today was that... I'm not sore! I'm not sore at all! Like woah... guess all that working out and dancing has paid off! I've gotten back to the state where I can go to Ramon's intermediate jazz class and not be sore the next day! Woohoo! :)

Current listening :: Gangsta Lovin' - Eve & Alicia Keys

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

I met Patch!

I was walking past the new Virgin music store in Metcentre on the way to the gym today, when I noticed a flyer at the entrance. Motor Ace was going to be performing and signing there at 2pm today. Ooh, cool! Then hit with a dilemma, I had to decide whether to go to Pilates class or wait around for Motor Ace. Hmm.. well.. their new album isn't all that great.. is it worth it? I decided to go to half of Pilates, then rush back after a quick shower. Turns out I spent just a *little* too long blow drying my hair (oh the vanity) and missed the performance. Bugger. :(

But I did decide to buy the single ($5 - with two B sides, and a live version of Death Defy) and got it signed, along with one of the flyers. I mustered up the courage (hehe I'm such a groupie.. not) to speak to Patch (the lead singer), and asking him if they were gonna play more old stuff or new stuff at Livid (less than 3 weeks to go!) He said about half/half... with probably more old stuff. Yay!! Good stuff!

Anyway, up close, Patch looks.. a little on the feminine side. Maybe its the pointiness of his face. When I first saw Motor Ace (way back in time, at Manly Fishos) I didn't think Patch was much to look at. But now.. well, he's still not all that.. but he's alright (or as Gav would say, "a bit of alright"). Hee hee. :P

[Edited: 9:30pm]
Ok, I scanned in my signed poster and CD cover. Click on each image for a larger view. :)

Current listening :: "Keeping Secrets" - Motor Ace